If there’s one thing I know about, it’s boozing. And if there’s one thing boozing leads to, it’s hangovers. Luckily over the years I’ve developed some serious skills to avoid people knowing I have a hangover, and as ’tis the season to be jolly, I figured I’d share some tactics.
Headbands
People like bright lights and shiny things; they’re distracting – particularly on a headband. They also make you look like you’ve made an effort, even though they take 0.01 seconds to put on. Much like the daytime sequin, sparkly headbands – note, not fascinators – are totally acceptable office gear, but just, somehow, make you look like you’ve put thought in to your outfit, even when the opposite is true.
I have no idea how or why this science works, but it never lets me down. Here are some fine options;
All from Accessorize.
And the good thing about headbands that are a little on the razzle dazzle snazzle side is, they look best with hair that isn’t too ‘done’. They work really well with messy, bed-head hair, which presumably you will have.
And if all else fails, well, you can’t beat a top knot, and now that they’ve been accepted by the fashion world, they don’t even make you look like a slacker. Anything that pulls your hair off your face improves your bone structure, especially when the bun/ponytail/whatevs is at a 45-degree angle, which tricks the eye into making your cheekbones look good. WINNER.
Makeup
I appreciate that when you wake up with a hangover, makeup may be a struggle. Howevs, a little bit will make a massive difference to your pasty, pasty, haggard face. Here are the things I would always use with a hangover – and I could do this in like, 5 mins, tops. I’d even allow you to do it on the bus, even though it goes against my beliefs.
Bobbi Brown Skin Foundation, £28
Bobbi Brown makes the best foundation ever anyway, and her (correct) concept that your makeup should make you look like you, but just better, is wholeheartedly applicable to this foundation. Just the right amount of coverage, and it makes you look healthy and actually glowing. Especially when used in conjunction with;
Too Faced Brightening Blush in La Vie En Rose, £14
This shade of pink is a bit scary because it’s so bright, but if you’re going to fake looking healthy, you might as well fake looking reeeeeally healthy. Apply with caution though, because you can get a bit 80s with it. All good in its place, but can make you look like you applied it still-drunk if you’re not careful. High on the cheekbones, then topped with;
Benefit Moon Beam, £17.50
There’s a reason this always gets awarded best highlighter – it’s just really good. You only need a tiny amount, and make sure you rub it in effectively, or else you can get a bit stripey reflective. It honestly makes you glow, like you’re one of those healthy people that doesn’t binge drink.
Bobbi Brown Tinted Eye Brightener, £22
Forget Touche Eclat, this is hand-on-heart the best concealer/luminiser I’ve ever used. Being Bobbi, the formula is really nice and light and natural-looking, but it conceals the darkest of rancid eye bags, and isn’t luminous in a shiny fake way. It’s just amazing. Best product I’ve discovered this year. TA BOBS!
Benefit High Brow, £14
I don’t rate too many Benefit products actually, but the two I’ve listed here are ones that I genuinely use every day – hangover or no hangover. This stuff’s magical – corners of the eyes, under the brow, cupid’s bow – you are as bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, angelic faced child.
Maybelline Falsies Mascara, £8.19
Really any good mascara is the finishing touch, but this is the one I’m using at the moment. It’s not my usual, but I am impressed with it. Of course, we all know that no mascara is going to make your eyelashes look like the adverts – unless you have lash extensions, obv – but it is very good. Wide awake eyelashes, all good.
TA-DA!
